Wow. 11 more weeks done. Mark it down in the books.
The last couple months of my life have seemed like a time warp. I finished up yet another quarter at Ai. As weeks go by I work hard to get everything finished, when I start to realize that my blog entries are getting left behind. Now I sit here at the end of the quarter still full of emotions and questions. Instead I was silent when it came to all my showings and edits. I so longed for my own feedback but my blog stayed silent. I then began to reflect on the quarter as a whole and discuss from there. I used my teacher’s suggested questions to start a good conversation in my brain.
1. How has your senior project in its edited form differed from your original intention and why do you think these changes have occurred (think beyond the practical problems, like you couldn’t get a certain location, and look deeper at your theme, style, story and purpose for creating this story – what from these elements have changed and why).
I did not really think as my film as different from my original plan until I was in the editing room. While I was writing I thought that in order my script to be done it had to be perfect and understandable. I mistook understandable as meaning that there is more words. But what I have learned in the editing room is that less is more. That you can get a point across without having to hand hold your audience. The first couple edits I did not want to drop any dialogue or present things not in the order they were supposed to be, but I’ve since begun to chop away and have found it refreshing.
This quarter I sometimes felt like my senior film was playing catch up to everything else and lately I’ve tried to give it more TLC and I can see the difference. My theme is no longer just about self awareness and connection to others but that of something of a journey from within. I knew the character’s had an under lying similar relatable to each other but as I began to edit I found more of myself and my internal struggles within the characters. The fact that I wasn’t able to shoot my ending scares me and upsets me. I want to be successful with this and I fear the outside look seems as if I am not trying etc. But the fact that I am a little behind doesn’t change the fact that I still care and am passionate about this film. I’m doing it for me and not for anyone else. Therefore, this battle from within will be satisfied similar to that of my characters.
My style has changed in the past week. I went from being a pretty conserved editor to a more gutsy editor and this could change the overall view of my film and for the first time I am okay with that. Like I said before, when you cut your cord from what your film was “supposed to be” to what it is become the possibilities are endless.
2. What do you now know about your own abilities/skills that you didn’t realize at the outset (where you do well and where you still struggle)?
The amount of knowledge that I have learned in the last year at Ai has been astronomical. My abilities and skills has grown leaps and bounds. Just the Senior Project alone is the single handed most difficult thing that I have ever done in my life. My confidence in my own decision making ability has led me to discover my own style which I never thought I had but once you feel confortable it sort of comes out. My producer skills grew a ton in terms of organization skills. Im’m never someone to do this ASAP but in producing there is no better time then the present.
My writing skills were something else that shocked me. I realized how natural it is for me to feel connected to story and I think that its really helped me develop my own script and characters as well as that of my classmates. I’m fascinated in the study of character’s and I’ve been enjoyed putting on various character lenses to try and see things through their specific eye. I think my biggest lesson that I still need to learn is that of time management. As you know I still have a scene to film and though I did try I need to get this baby shot. But it has given me an advantage in the sense I can still add elements to strengthen my story. But, overall I still need to find time for things long before it is too late. This is something that I will carry forth once time becomes more sensitive in my work.
Ahh, I am still in shock as to where I am not only in this project but my schooling. I wish so badly to be done but I am scared for what is to come. Ai has become my home away from home even though a large chunk of my time is spent running around and logging crazy hours it keeps me busy. I think I will miss the challenge of constantly being creative and inventive. It really keeps my imagination a desire to create strong. I will miss this wide range of possibilities of what I can create from stuff from school. Also, the friendships that I have made through this school will be forever missed once it’s over. To call them friends is an understatement Ai has grown to be a family. The instructor’s with such a deep investment in our projects, lives and futures is rare to extinct in and among colleges. So looking back on this project and where I am, I’d say I am happy. Things could have obviously went better but then I’d have nothing to learn.I cannot wait to see the outcome of all my classmates videos and I cannot wait to see them and their successes as well as my own and that of the DFVP program. We may be new but what we lack in program existence we make up for in heart and creativity and I considere myself a proud member of this program at Ai.
Currently Listening to;
Artist: Arcade Fire Song: Haiti Album: Funeral